★★★★★ "Every lesbian should be handed this book upon coming out!" - Reader review ___ Is your relationship "always about her?" Does it seem condemned to an endless break-up/ make up cycle? Do your friends think your girlfriend is bad news? If you are stuck in a confusing, exhausting, crazy-making relationship and looking for a way to make sense of your girlfriend's self-centered, erratic, or volatile behavior, you need The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free from Crazy-Making Relationships and Getting On With Your Life! In one small volume, Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW spells out how three "personality disorders" (Narcissistic, Anti-social, Borderline) account for much of the toxic "come here/go away" "I love you/I hate you" and "it's all about me" drama that keeps good women in relationships that are great every once in awhile but wretchedly crazy-making most of the time. While other books explore the rise of narcissism, surviving the abuse of psychopaths, and responding to people who have borderline personality disorder in general, this book takes a lesbian-specific look at the devastation these personality disorders can cause in relationships and the special challenges facing women in same-sex partnerships with personality-disordered women. In T he Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free from Crazy-Making Relationships and Getting on With Your Life , Dr. Ault, a clinical sociologist and psychotherapist, draws from clinical literature and experience, expertise in LGBT culture, and a series of interviews with lesbian and queer women who have survived relationships with toxic partners to help you determine if the trouble you are experiencing in your relationship is rooted in a partner's personality disorder. She reviews common toxic relationship dynamics, the costs of staying with personality disordered partners, common personality disorder patterns, and why you might have been vulnerable to getting involved with a personality disordered woman. This book will provide you with specific skills you need to use if you are preparing to exit a toxic relationship, and detailed strategies for recovery, once you are free! Every person deserves to be in a happy, joyful, supportive relationship. As we move into an era in which same-sex partners have access to legal marriage, it is perhaps more crucial than ever that we clarify our expectations for same-sex relationships and become skilled at choosing partners with the capacity to fully participate in mutually respectful, reciprocally supportive, life-enhancing relationships. You deserve to be in a relationship that promotes your happiness, health, and peacefulness! If your current relationship undermines your ease, well-being, and productivity, this book can help you get clearer about what is not working and how to take action so that you can open yourself to the possibility of having the relationship happiness you deserve. Get your copy now! In this remarkable, grounded book, Dr. Ault offers up something for lesbians in destructive, crazy-making relationships. Her voice educates, soothes and gives you a gentle nudge to take care of yourself first. She offers a quick understanding of what went wrong and how to remedy your life. There is a chapter on "getting out," as well as how to recover after freeing your self from the binds that harm. A must read too for all professionals who work with the lesbian and gay community. -Julie Tallard Johnson, MSW, LCSW,author of The Zero Point Agreement: How to Be Who You Already Are Dr. Amber Ault has written a practical handbook for recognizing and dissolving destructive and impossible relationships as constructively as possible. Although her targeted audience ---which she addresses directly and personally --- is comprised of lesbians, she has much to say that would be useful to anyone who finds him or herself stuck in such a relationship or suffering the aftermath of one. I recommend it highly. --James McGloin, Ph.D., LCSW, Psychotherapist ...Educates us on the behavioral red flags by lesbians (or anyone) with each of these disorders...provides good advice on how to safely get out of these types of relationships, and how to recover from them. The book is written using plain terms, is down to earth, and is very readable. It should be on every lesbian's bookshelf, especially if she is looking for a partner or spouse." --- Lesbian Connection