Booksmart meets The Perks of Being a Wallflower in this novel of overachieving, existential crises, growing up, and coming out, from the author of Girl Crushed and Never Have I Ever . Mary is having an existential crisis. She's a good student, she never gets in trouble, and she is searching for the meaning of life. She always thought she'd find it in a perfect score on the SATs. But by junior year, Mary isn't so sure anymore. The first time, it's an accident. She forgets to do a history assignment. She even crosses "history essay" off in her pristine planner. And then: Nothing happens. She doesn't burst into flames, the world doesn't end, the teacher doesn't even pull her aside after class. So she asks herself: Why am I trying so hard? What if I stop? With her signature wit and heaps of dark humor, Katie Heaney delivers a stunning YA novel the sprints full-force into the big questions our teen years beg--and adeptly unravels their web. Gr 8 Up-No one notices 16-year-old Mary Davies; even the name of her best friend, Cara Shah, she believes is glamorous where hers is plain. An excellent student, Mary is used to meeting the expectations of others, but she's never put "what I want" on her to-do list. Then one day her history homework goes missing, confusing Mary at first but also allowing her to ask: What if I gave myself permission to just let go? Her grades drop to C's-she's nowhere near flunking out-and she tries her first cigarette, which make her feel as if she can "do anything." She asks out Mitch, whose hair is pink and who's absent a lot. She learns that he hides in the library stacks so he can draw, and studies something he loves-woodworking-outside of school. He has more of a plan than she does. Mary splits her time between Mitch and a part-time job as a barista, joking around with Elyse, a new employee whose sly sense of humor and interest in Mary sparks a friendship, and maybe more. As Mary realizes she and Mitch are just friends, it becomes more clear that she's attracted to Elyse, who's gay. Mary and the other teens are white, while Elyse is Korean. VERDICT Focusing on the subtle metamorphosis of one funny, high-achieving teen who decides she'd rather know herself than please others, this book embraces coming of age and coming out with humor, candor, and grace. A must for all collections.-Georgia Christgau, LaGuardia Community Coll., Long Island City, NYα(c) Copyright 2011. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted. "Focusing on the subtle metamorphosis of one funny, high-achieving teen who decides she’d rather know herself than please others, this book embraces coming of age and coming out with humor, candor, and grace. A must for all collections." — School Library Journal , starred Katie Heaney is the author of the memoirs Never Have I Ever and Would You Rather? , and the novels Dear Emma and Public Relations . She is a senior health writer at the Cut, and you can find her on Twitter at @KTHeaney. The first time was a mistake. I don’t like to admit that, because I think this whole thing would be cooler if I’d meant to do it from the beginning for some good reason, or even a reason. But the truth is that one day, after ten years without incident, I just forgot. There wasn’t anything unusual going on that week. I worked my usual shift at La Baguette, got home, did what was left of my homework, watched a little TV, and went to sleep. The next morning I got up, ate the same breakfast, made the same peanut butter and jelly sandwich and put the same chips and carrots in little plastic bags, and drove my brother, Peter, and me the same way to school. I walked into first period three minutes before the bell, completely prepared for another normal day. Then class started, and the teacher asked us to hand in our homework . . . and my stomach fell into my feet. My face burned. I felt faint and dizzy and a little like I might throw up. Because I had not done my AP U.S. history homework. Somehow, in the list of things I had to do the night before, this one had gotten lost. As everyone around me dug through their bags for their short essays on Manifest Destiny, I flipped through my planner and scanned yesterday’s to-­do items. And there it was, with a line drawn through it, like everything else on the page. But I had not written that essay. I looked through my folder, just in case, but I knew there was nothing to find. I sat there, sweating, for the rest of class, planning what I’d say to Mr. Delaney to let him know I knew I’d made a mistake and I’d never do it again if somehow he could find it in him to forgive me. I could offer to do a makeup assignment, a five-­ or ten-­page paper on a topic of his choosing. Or I could pretend I had done the homework but had packed my bag wrong because of unspecified stressors at home. I could say I’d gotten home late from work and set a 4:00 a.m. alarm to finish, but then my phone died, and I wa