"The racially diverse cast and the worldbuilding surrounding the magic system... provide a unique backdrop for Kiwi author Valley’s witty and buoyant debut." —  Publishers Weekly starred review What happens when your enemy becomes your friend … with benefits?  Red, White and Royal Blue  meets  The Magicians  in this surprising, wildly original and joyously funny LGBTQ YA novel set in a magical boarding school.  Tim Te Maro and Elliott Parker – classmates at Fox Glacier High School for the Magically Adept – have never gotten along. But when they both get dumped the day before the big egg-baby assignment, they reluctantly decide to ditch their exes and work together. When the two boys start to bond over their magically enchanted egg-baby, they realize that beneath their animosity is something like friendship … or physical attraction. Soon, a no-strings-attached hook-up seems like a good idea. Just for the duration of the assignment. After all, they don’t have feelings for each other … so what could possibly go wrong?  From debut Kiwi author H.S. Valley, the latest winner of the Ampersand Prize, comes this gleefully addictive romantic comedy that’s perfect for fans of Rainbow Rowell and David Levithan. In a word – it’s magic. "Sweet and sexy in equal measure, Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues  explores all the confusion, messiness and joy that comes with queer first love." —Erin Gough, author of Amelia Westlake Was Never Here "A fun, low-stakes (but high-investment) romp through the brains of lovelorn, hormone-driven teenagers, and the delightful array of queer people that populate their school and by proxy their world." — TheSpinoff.co.nz " Valley’s conversational dialogue, combined with her authentic characters, make the story easy to connect with. Excellently illustrated teen struggles around love, relationships and sexuality while maintaining the fantasy setting makes the novel perfect for young adults.. . . Use of New Zealand locations and inclusion of Māori culture make the Harry Potter-like story feel fresh. . . . I recommend this novel for all young adults who can get their hands on it." — kete   "The racially diverse cast and the worldbuilding surrounding the magic system... provide a unique backdrop for Kiwi author Valley’s witty and buoyant debut." —  Publishers Weekly starred review Named as one of the "Must Have 2023 Queer Book Releases" — The Nerd Daily H.S. Valley grew up on the Waitemata Harbour in Auckland, at the foot of Takarunga. She now lives near the Waitakere Ranges with her partner. She has a bachelor's degree in design. She won the Ampersand Prize for her debut YA novel, Tim Te Maro and the Subterranean Heartsick Blues. CHAPTER 1 SUPALONELY You’d think a place like Fox Glacier High School for the Magically Adept – which has taught magic for decades – might’ve found a way to heat its super-secret underground compound, or at least the sick bay. Especially since it’s under a river of ice. The ceilings are low, the walls are thick, and there’s an air-circulation system anyway– it could surely have been a warm air-circulation system. If not with magic, then with a solar-powered something; the glacier is pretty reflective. And cold. The sick bay shouldn’t be cold. It’s unhealthy. This wet mess the nurse has put on my head isn’t helping. And it smells. She’s gone off somewhere, maybe to make a note in her ledger about what’s happened this time, Mr Te Maro ?I bet she has a tally. To be fair, us Defensives are probably winning for the highest number of avoidable injuries. At least they’re usually only to ourselves, and not to others – unlike the Minders. Theirs isn’t a bad Specialty – the things they study do a lot towards mental health care and law and stuff – it just seems to have attracted shitty people in my year. And one group in particular has been making the whole lot look bad lately. Last time I was in here it was because one of them had decided it would be hilarious to make me hallucinate that my custard was full of spiders. I’d ended up with a broken dessert bowl, a five-centimetre cut on my shin and no more custard. Come to think of it, the time before was their fault as well, and I have a scar from that, too. I’m still thinking about it when their poster boy, Elliott Parker, walks in; I’m pretty sure he was the one who found out I don’t like spiders. I feel my shoulders bunch up – he doesn’t look injured enough to be here legitimately. He’s still in full uniform, even though it’s after eight. He probably likes the way the blue stripe brings out his eyes or something. Or maybe the contrast of dark, scholarly grey and his floofy blond hair sparks joy. Who the hell knows with him. He stares at me for a second as I lie on the only occupied bed, and I wonder if the nurse’s proximity is enough to keep him from being a dickhead. Though, I would like to practise some of my new Advanced Defence magic on him. Disembowelling, perhaps. Maybe that’s tech