If you have lost someone to suicide, you are not alone on your grief journey. This book will provide insight on navigating the grief process and searching for healing. The light shining at the end of the tunnel is this: pain is real but so is hope. This book will also provide guidance for friends and associates who don’t know what to say or do to help those grieving such an incomprehensible loss. This is not a “how to” book. This is the raw, honest story of one real woman’s loss of a loved one to suicide. It’s a story of the grief, guilt, regret, disbelief, and shock that comes with such a devastating act. It’s a story any of us could find ourselves in - in one shattering, unexpected instant. And it is a story about the hope and healing that truly is possible after such a loss. This book covers a variety of topics, from the personal to the practical, such as: -He’s Gone: the immediate aftermath of a suicide -Medical Examiners, Cemetery Shopping & Evidence Bags -Unfixable & Unanswered Questions -Words That Wound & Choosing Battles -When Faith Isn’t Enough And much more… The author’s personal journey: On August 13, 2016, I began my journey when I lost my father to suicide. I’d like to say I’ve walked it gracefully but I haven’t. Shock, disbelief, and instant devastation. Tears mixed with anger followed by questions that will never be answered. The grief journey after losing a loved one to suicide begins, and unfortunately, it never ends. Pain is real, but so is hope. Upon searching for ways to cope with my loss, I found very little I could relate to. I needed raw emotion from fellow survivors of suicide loss. I needed to know I wasn’t crazy for the way I felt. I needed to know I wasn’t alone. I needed to hear from others who sat in the mess of a painful, shattered life. What was helping them begin the healing process through their grief? My story is for those of us left behind to agonize over ‘what if’s’ and ‘why’s.' It is also for anyone who wants to better understand suicide loss. It’s a roller coaster, but it is not one that you have to face alone. "R.J. Belle writes a heartfelt piece detailing her journey through grief and what she learned along the way about family bonds, broken loyalties, healing, and herself. A must read for anyone facing a similar tragedy, and those who want to help anyone they know affected by suicide loss." - A fellow suicide loss survivor "...a raw and gut wrenching look inside the moments and weeks after a death by suicide. Belle takes the reader into her pain immediately...and doesn't let go. Her writing is poignant and captivating; I laughed, cried, and yelled right along with her... The stigma must end, and voices like R.J. Belle will help us keep the conversation going." - Attempt survivor & survivor of 2 family suicides "R.J. Belle bares all in her journey after losing her Pops to suicide, and...leaves empathetic, blunt and desperately needed trail-markers to those survivors walking the path behind her. From the screams of disbelief, tears, and the inevitable "what-ifs"; to penning letters to Pops and participating in suicide support groups and fundraisers, Belle enfolds the reader in an earnest effort to bring comfort...and along the way confronts the stigma that those grieving a suicide often face... an invaluable read for anyone seeking support as a suicide survivor." - A fellow suicide loss survivor R.J. Belle began writing as a teenager as a way to express her creative side. After spending fifteen years in the lending industry, she left her career to write full time and published the thriller "First One Down," introducing Detective Paul Sutton. R.J. has also written "After: The Battle Has Just Begun," eight true stories of combat-injured service members who sustained life-altering injuries and the impacts on the caregivers who support these men. 100% of the proceeds from this book benefit Warrior Foundation~Freedom Station. She is also the author of "Transfer Of Pain: After Suicide, A Journey Of Healing," about her personal grief journey after the loss of her father to suicide. R.J. lives in Southern California with her family. She works on her detective skills by studying psychology and investigating when her English Bulldogs bark at night. She enjoys writing, reading, running, and coffee.©2019 R.J. Belle Books (P), 2019 R.J. Belle