Danny Williams didn't mean to be a lawyer, but somehow he is -- and for up to eighteen hours a day. He's well paid, home owning, and twenty-seven but is also overworked, lonely, and frequently stoned. The plan was to leave the troubles of a small town in Northern Ireland for the big city in England, but one evening an old school friend, Geordie, bursts into Danny's shiny new life. On the run from a Loyalist militia, Geordie brings everything Danny thought he had left behind and dumps it on his doorstep. With infectious wit and energy to burn, Utterly Monkey is a searing, fiercely funny, and ultimately redemptive novel about surviving an office job, outwitting the bad guys, and, hopefully, getting the girl. In this lukewarm "lad lit" debut, Irishman Danny Williams leaves behind his Belfast past to become a solicitor at a London law firm. Life goes along swimmingly until the night old high-school pal Geordie Wilson, on the run from IRA thugs, turns up at his door. The two men's lives become entwined, as Danny battles office politics and pursues romance with enigmatic office-mate Ellen, and Geordie tries (unsuccessfully) to stay out of harm's way (turns out the ?50,000 his girlfriend gave him were earmarked to finance a terrorist operation). Laird, who was born in Northern Ireland and practiced law before turning to poetry, then prose, might have done better to have his novel revolve around gritty--and infinitely more interesting--sidekick Geordie. Laird's writing is consistently lively, as when he compares the atmosphere of a Belfast pub to the embrace of "some love-starved aunt, one who smokes heavily and shouts." But his plot is overcrowded--including a bomb threat, a tepid sex scene, and a scatological incident readers best discover for themselves. Allison Block Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved “An adventure into love and politics and the law. Laird’s writing is deft, good-humoured and absorbing.” - Frank McCourt “A terrific debut novel. A beautifully intricate dissection of the corporate world, and a hilarious depiction of modern male friendships.” - Time Out (London) “An extraordinarily accomplished novel, by a confident and eloquent voice, filled with humour and insight.” - Sunday Times (London) “A blithe, breezy read that nevertheless delivers biting insight. Laird is certainly no slouch―but he wondrously understands the mindset.” - Entertainment Weekly “Part caper movie, part coming-of-age story, part urban satire ... introduces a wonderfully original and limber voice.” - Michiko Kakutani, New York Times “An utterly engaging modern social satire with an unpredictable, violent edge. ... An excellent exploration of modern relationships.” - Library Journal “Combines humor and heart with subversive intelligence. ... Laird is funnier and edgier than (Nick) Hornby.” - Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “The real thing, a novel rich in both achievement and promise, by a writer who can actually write.” - The Times (London) Danny Williams didn't mean to be a lawyer, but somehow he is -- and for up to eighteen hours a day. He's well paid, home owning, and twenty-seven but is also overworked, lonely, and frequently stoned. The plan was to leave the troubles of a small town in Northern Ireland for the big city in England, but one evening an old school friend, Geordie, bursts into Danny's shiny new life. On the run from a Loyalist militia, Geordie brings everything Danny thought he had left behind and dumps it on his doorstep. With infectious wit and energy to burn, Utterly Monkey is a searing, fiercely funny, and ultimately redemptive novel about surviving an office job, outwitting the bad guys, and, hopefully, getting the girl. Nick Laird was born in 1975 in Northern Ireland. He was a scholar at Cambridge University, and later spent a year at Harvard University as a visiting fellow. The author of To a Fault , a poetry collection, he has received several prestigious awards for both poetry and fiction, including the 2005 Rooney Prize for Irish Literature. Utterly Monkey A Novel By Nick Laird HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 2006 Nick Laird All right reserved. ISBN: 0060828366 Chapter One 'For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country.' Reginald Maudling, Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, on the plane back to London after his first visit to Belfast, 1 July 1970 Wednesday, 7 July 2004 Moving is easy. Everyone does it. But actually leaving somewhere is difficult. Early last Wednesday morning a ferry was slowly detaching itself from a dock at the edge of Belfast. On it, a man called Geordie was losing. He'd slotted eleven pound coins into the Texas Hold'Em without success -- not counting a pair of Kings which briefly rallied his credits -- and had now moved two feet to the left, onto the gambler. The three reels spun out into click -- a bell, click -- a BAR, click -- a melon. Fuck all. Geordie's smal