Hap and Leonard  is now a Sundance TV series starring James Purefoy and Michael Kenneth Williams. Hap Collins and Leonard Pine, the kings of East Texas mischief and mayhem, return in this full-throttle thriller to face off with the Dixie Mafia.   When Leonard is asked to rescue a teenage girl from a lowly drug dealer, he gladly agrees and invites Hap along for the ride.  Everything goes according to plan, until they find out the dealer is a member of the Dixie mafia. A wild gun fight ensues, after which Hap and Leonard are arrested. Turns out, however, that the law needs a favor and if Hap and Leonard can do the deed they’ll be free roam. There’s one problem the Dixie Mafia’s new hired gun—the legendary assassin Vanilla Ride. Filled with breakneck action, gut-busting laughs, and one gigantic crocodile, this hilarious novel is as hot as a habanero pepper.   "Anything but ordinary crime writing by one of the best in the business."-- Los Angeles Times   "Joe Lansdale may be Texas' bloody answer to Mark Twain."-- Austin Chronicle   "The best crime novel I've read in years."--John Weisman, The Washington Times   "[Joe Lansdale] is one of the greatest yarn spinners of his generation: fearless, earthy, original, manic and dreadfully funny."-- Dallas Morning News “Every page of this book brims with humor and character and most of all, kick ass story telling.”--Michael Connelly   "There's no bullshit in a Joe Lansdale book. There's everything a good story needs, and nothing it doesn't."--Christopher Moore, author of A Dirty Job and Fool   "Hilariously funny, to the point that your heart almost stops while you are laughing.”— Bookreporter   “The Hap and Leonard books explore questions of race, sexuality and religion in modern red-state America. Hap is a white heterosexual good old boy. Leonard is a black homosexual Vietnam vet. . . . Laughter is the common bond.”— Texas Observer Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over thirty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in eighteen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. Lansdale has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. A major motion picture based on Lansdale's crime thriller Cold in July was released in May 2014, starring Michael C. Hall (Dexter), Sam Shepard (Black Hawk Down), and Don Johnson (Miami Vice). His novella Bubba Hotep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror." He is currently co-producing a TV series, "Hap and Leonard" for the Sundance Channel and films including The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. Lansdale is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.   www.joerlansdale.com 1 I hadn't been shot at in a while, and no one had hit me in the head for a whole month or two. It was kind of a record, and I was starting to feel special. Brett and I were upstairs in our little rented house, lying in bed, breathing hard, having just arrived at the finish line of a slow, sweet race that at times can seem like a competitive sport, but when played right, even when you're the last to arrive, can make you feel like a winner. In that moment, life was good. Brett sat up and fluffed her pillow behind her back and pushed her long bloodred hair to the side with one hand, shoved her chest forward in a way that made me feel mighty lucky, said, "I haven't had that much fun since I pistol-whipped a redheaded midget." "You don't know how romantic that makes me feel," I said. "I think Little Hap just went looking for a place to hide." "I thought he just came out of hiding," she said, and winked at me. Thing was, she actually had pistol-whipped a midget. I was there. She was trying to find her daughter and save her life, but still, it was ugly, and I was a party to it. I will say this, however, in favor of the midget: he took his beating with stoic pride and refused to take it while wearing his cowboy hat, an expensive Stetson. He wanted it right on the skull and that's where he got it. "You know, I think they prefer being called dwarf instead of midget , or Little People ," I said. "No kidding