What if it’s Not Just the Behaviour? A New Way to Parent with a Positive Systems Approach By Dr. Bob Carey Unlock the real reasons behind your child’s behaviour—and transform your family life for good. Parenting a child with disruptive behaviours can feel overwhelming, isolating, and defeating. Traditional discipline strategies often fall short, focusing on control and consequences instead of connection and understanding. But what if the behaviour you’re seeing isn’t the problem itself—but a symptom of something deeper? In What if it’s Not Just the Behaviour? , clinical psychologist and behaviour specialist Dr. Bob Carey offers a groundbreaking, compassionate roadmap for parents. Rooted in decades of work with families and grounded in the Positive Systems Approach (PSA), this book shifts the lens from punishment to purpose—helping you understand your child’s behaviour as communication, not defiance. This isn't another book of parenting hacks or quick fixes. It’s a system-wide rethink that empowers you to: Decode the root causes of your child’s behaviour—emotional, neurological, environmental, and developmental - Build a home environment that supports safety, regulation, and emotional growth - Stop power struggles before they start with proactive strategies - Respond instead of react using PSA’s gentle yet effective tools like redirection, non-contingent reinforcement, and co-regulation - Foster trust, skill-building, and resilience in both your child and yourself - Align parenting across caregivers to create consistent and supportive systems Through relatable stories, practical tools, reflection exercises, and step-by-step guidance, Dr. Carey equips you to move from surviving to thriving. You’ll learn how to build a parenting system that’s calm, connected, and deeply attuned to your child’s needs—without sacrificing boundaries or authority. Whether your child has a formal diagnosis or simply struggles with meltdowns, aggression, or defiance, this book will help you see them—and yourself—with new clarity, compassion, and confidence. Stop asking, “How do I fix this behaviour?” and start asking, “What is my child trying to tell me?” This book will show you how to listen—and how to lead with love.