A practical, compassionate relationship guide for women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, mothers who wish to set their sons free, and men dealing with issues of commitment, sex addiction, and unhealthy attachments. Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom , clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: —Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men —Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage —Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children "Dr. Ken Adams has done it again. This book on mother-son enmeshment explains not only this too little understood developmental block, but points the way to liberation. The absence of psychobabble makes it clear reading both for victims and their clinicians." -- John Franklin, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor of Counseling and Addiction Studies, University of Detroit Mercy Ôªø "An engaging, clear, and extremely useful examination of this most common of family problems....’ÄâI do a lot of couples therapy in my practice, and this is one of the most common unhealthy dynamics I see. This book will be enormously helpful." -- John C. Friel, Ph.D., author of Adult Children "It is a compelling, insightful, and helpful guide out of the sexual and romantic labyrinths families weave." -- Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., author of Out of the Shadows Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and internationally recognized expert in treating trauma-induced intimacy disorders. Dr. Adams is the author of Silently Seduced . He lives with his family in Rochester Hills, Michigan. Alexander P. Morgan is a writer specializing in technical subjects. A National Science Foundation Fellow and winner of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers' Melville Medal, he lives with his family in Birmingham, Michigan. 1. ANNE'S DILEMMA The Man Who Won't Commit Sonny and Anne sat on the front porch of his mother's house, talking in whispers. Anne felt almost beyond tears. Sonny sat beside her, confused. "You'll never find a better woman than me," Anne was saying. "Except your mother, of course," she added, her anger breaking through to sarcasm. "This isn't about my mother," Sonny said. He tried to explain, for what felt like the hundredth time. "So my mother relies on me. What's wrong with that? I'm her only son. She can't manage on her own. She needs to know I'm there for her." Anne stood up, barely containing herself. "That's not what it's about! Your mother never lets you alone. She interrupts us day and night; you never say no to her." Anne walked toward the steps, pulling on her coat. "Go ahead, go take care of her! I've just about had it." Sonny started after Anne, but then he stopped. He didn't know what to do. He knew he loved her, but . . . . "You're being silly," he said. "This isn't her fault." Just then the front door opened, and Sonny's mother, Ruth, leaned halfway out, clutching a flowered robe around her. "Sonny," she said, ignoring Anne, "I forgot to tell you . . . . the men to fix the lights are coming tomorrow afternoon." Sonny stood up and put his arm around his mother. "That's good, Mom," he said. "I'm glad you're getting those bathroom lights fixed. That flickering is driving me crazy." "So, you'll come maybe for lunch . . . . then, when they show up, you'll tell them what's wrong?" "I've got to work tomorrow, Mom. The men will know what to do, just show them the lights." "I hate to be alone with strange men here. It makes me so nervous." "Okay, Mom. Call me when they come, and I'll talk to them." Ruth's lip quivered; then she shrugged. "If that's the best you can do . . . . " She shook her head and went back inside. Anne was halfway down the steps. She turned around. "I love you, Sonny, but I'm thirty-five. I can't wait forever." Sonny was beginning to feel guilty and angry, and these feelings scared him. "If you let me get away," Anne was saying, "twenty years from now, you'll regret losing the love of your life. And twenty years from now, regret will be all you have. But now . . . .now you can do something about it." "Anne," Sonny began, "What do you want me to say?" "Make a decision. Say yes, say n