This unique book provides compassionate strategies to help parents work through the pain, shame, and sense of loss that they feel when dealing with family conflict or when their relationship with their older or adult children has not turned out as they hoped or expected. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we lose the opportunity to be the parent we desperately want to be and must mourn the loss of a harmonious relationship with an estranged adult child. Although this situation may seem hopeless, When Parents Hurt is a parenting guide designed to help us through this intensely difficult situation with compassion and thoughtfulness. Through healing exercises and case examples, Dr. Joshua Coleman helps parents: Reduce anger, guilt, and shame - Learn how temperament, the teen years, a partner’s or their own mistakes, and divorce can harm the parent-child bond - Come to terms with their imperfections, as well as their child’s - Develop strategies for reaching out and for maintaining their self-esteem through trying times - Understand how society’s expectations contribute to the risk of parental wounds By helping parents recognize what they can do―and to let go of what they cannot control― When Parents Hurt offers a clear path toward healing for parents and helps families develop more positive ways of relating to themselves and each other. “Exceptionally perceptive.” - Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were “A superb treatment for parents wounded emotionally or psychologically by their children. . .an accessible, hopeful exploration. . .a unique and groundbreaking approach. . .an eye-opening read for anyone.” - --Library Journal (starred review) “A superb treatment . . . a unique and groundbreaking approach . . . an eye-opening read for anyone.” - Library Journal (starred review) “Coleman’s focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on . . . an engaging read despite the serious subject matter.” - Publishers Weekly “[D]esperately needed . . . a truly great book for parents, and a great book for therapists who work with families.” - Heather Folsom, MD, adult and child psychiatrist and author “This is an incredibly insightful and sensitively written analysis of a difficult subject. . . . I have recommended it to many of my clients . . . I highly recommend it to all parents who hurt.” - Jan Levine, PhD, coauthor of Why Do Fools Fall in Love? “I LOVE this book. [It] is written from such a realistic and compassionate perspective that it is heart-warming.” - Hara Estroff Marano, editor-at-large at Psychology Today and author of A Nation of Wimps “An important book that can help parents heal.” - Baltimore Sun “Joshua Coleman’s book is a gift, offering extraordinary wisdom coupled with practical advice.” - Steven Mintz, Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences and author of Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood “A wise and helpful book.” - Frederic Luskin, PhD, Director, Stanford Forgiveness Projects and author of Forgive for Good “An especially healing, practical resource . . . for anyone exhausted by strained, hurtful relationships with their adolescent or grown child.” - Dr. Linda Nielsen, Professor of Adolescent Psychology & Women's Studies, Wake Forest University and author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Always Wanted With Your Dad In When Parents Hurt , psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parent they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child. Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents: Reduce anger, guilt, and shame Learn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bond Come to terms with their own and their child's imperfections Develop strategies for rebuilding the relationship or move toward acceptance of what can't be changed By helping parents recognize what they can do and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other. Dr. Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized expert in parenting, couples, families, and relationships. He is a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. The author of two critically acclaimed books, The Marriage Makeover and The Lazy Husband , he is a frequent contributor to the San Francisco Chronicle , and his advice has been featured in the New York Times , the Chicago Tribune , Psychology Today , the Times (London), and elsewhere. He is a frequent guest on the Today show and has appeared on 20/20 , Good Morning America , and many other news programs. He lives with his family in the San Francisco Bay area. When Parents Hurt Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown