Fishermen like holidays because they keep other folks off the water. The way they celebrate traditional holidays like Thanksgiving, obscure holidays like Arbor Day, and as yet-to-be-declared holidays like National Cabin Fever Day depends on whether one fishes or not. In WildLife: Volume Three: Fisherman's Holidays, author Pat Neal examines our unrealistic expectations toward holidays through a collection of previously published newspaper columns. Written from his research as an historian and the wild and wooly life of a guide on the rivers of the Olympic Peninsula, these stories attempt to answer the eternal question: why can't the Skunk Cabbage Festival last all year? Gleaned from the commentary page of The Peninsula Daily News, Neal offers a year's worth of fisherman's holiday stories. WildLife provides humorous insight from a fisherman's point of view into a host of holidays from Thanksgiving to the solstice to election day and more. WildLife Volume 3: The Fisherman's Holidays By Pat Neal iUniverse Copyright © 2017 Pat Neal All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-5320-3316-2 Contents 1. National Cabin Fever Day, 1, 2. Olympic Mountain Groundhog Day, 5, 3. Valentine's Day, 10, 4. Valentine's Day – Polly, 13, 5. April Fool's Day, 15, 6. National Pet Day – April 11 – Best Fishing Buddy, 18, 7. Earth Day, 20, 8. Arbor Day – The Grandfather Tree., 27, 9. Arbor Day – The Grandmother Tree., 30, 10. Arbor Day – How Much Wood Does a Man Need? With apologies to Tolstoy's How Much Land Does a Man Need?, 33, 11. The First Salmon Ceremony, 35, 12. The Skunk Cabbage Festival, 38, 13. Memorial Day, 41, 14. Memorial Day – The Stupid Tax, 43, 15. Memorial Day – The Great White Fleet, 45, 16. Memorial Day – The Fish Camp, 48, 17. Tourist Season – An Olympic Peninsula Driving Guide, 50, 18. Tourist Season – Brave New Tattoo, 58, 19. Father's Day – The Brown Hat Society, 61, 20. The Forks Fudge Festival, 63, 21. June 21 – The Longest Day, 65, 22. Fourth of July Beaver, 69, 23. Fourth of July – The Declaration of Indepundits, 71, 24. The Sequim Lavender Festival – Lavender Tour of the Doomed, 73, 25. Grandparents Day – Fishing with Grandma, 75, 26. Grouse Season, 77, 27. Labor Day – The 10 Stages of Camping Grief, 79, 28. The Bear Creek Chili Contest, 81, 29. The First Day of School – Confessions of an Alter Boy, 83, 30. History Day – The Dungeness History Project, 85, 31. The Wooden Boat Festival, 92, 32. Deer Season - This Country Sure Has Grown Up, 95, 33. Halloween – The Million Dollar Mule., 97, 34. Halloween – The Tell-Tale Tail – With Apologies to Edgar Allan Poe., 102, 35. Halloween – Bigfoot Begone, 106, 36. Opening Day of Elk Season – The Grandma Pie., 111, 37. Election Day, 113, 38. Veterans Fishing Day, 116, 39. The Last Day of Hunting Season – Road Hunting with Granny., 119, 40. Thanksgiving., 136, 41. December 1 – The Opening Day of Steelhead Season, 138, 42. Pearl Harbor Day, 149, 43. The Christmas Letter, 153, 44. The Christmas Colonoscopy, 156, 45. The Perfect Tree., 158, 46. Christmas on a Budget, 160, 47. The Solstice, 162, 48. Christmas Gift Ideas, 163, 49. Christmas Survival Guide., 165, 50. The Best Christmas Present, 167, 51. The Gift of the Guides- With Apologies to O. Henry, 169, 52. Another Christmas Carol – With Apologies to Charles Dickens, 171, 53. Christmas on the Homestead, 174, 54. The Day After Christmas, 176, 55. New Year's Resolutions, 178, 56. National Reader(s) Appreciation Day, 181, CHAPTER 1 NATIONAL CABIN FEVER DAY. It's official. The cabin fever season started early this year, attacking the Olympic Peninsula in a vice-like grip that shows no sign of weakening in the foreseeable future. Cabin Fever Syndrome is a common, chronic, poly-phobic seasonal disorder that can make its appearance about the time the last Christmas cookie crumbles. Experts agree that the early appearance of this disorder might have been caused by the toughest winter in twenty-five years. The severity of this hard winter was predicted in my wilderness gossip column last autumn based on the number and size of spiders and the thick layers of fat on deer and mountain trout. That's how I knew my own cabin fever was coming on: I was writing a newspaper column about writing a newspaper column. Which spawned a movement to declare a National Cabin Fever Day to spotlight the insidious danger of this disease. The latest research on this curious condition confirms a coincidence of congenital characteristics contravening conventional clinical concerns of a catatonic convalescence. There are many theories on the origin of CFS. Whether it's the sudden change from a diet consisting solely of Christmas fudge or light deprivation associated with the final unplugging of the Christmas lights, CFS can reduce an otherwise healthy individual to a zombie-like couch tuber whose motor skills have dwindled to twitching the remote control and opening another tub