When faced with life's greatest quandaries, there's just one place to go for advice: all your beloved heroes and heroines. These 6,000 thought-provoking quotations cover almost every imaginable dilemma and come from writers like Confucius, Horace, Shakespeare, Twain and Austen; modern figures such as Andy Rooney and Meryl Streep; and fictional TV favorites Homer Simpson and Chandler Bing. Need help when considering a new look? Jim Morrison warns: "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." Want to know if a new relationship is going to work out? Woody Allen can tell you, "The only love that lasts is unrequited love." Arranged alphabetically, this wordfest encompasses everything from attraction to zen, cats to dogs, and politics to religion. Rosemarie Jarski is a full-time author, editor, and screenwriter. She has edited a variety of reference books, including Wisecracks: Great Lines from the Classic Hollywood Movies. Words From The Wise Over 6,000 of the Smartest Things Ever Said By Rosemarie Jarski Skyhorse Publishing Copyright © 2007 Rosemary Jarski All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-60239-136-9 Contents Dedication, Title Page, Copyright Page, INTRODUCTION, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, Y, Z, INDEX, CHAPTER 1 A ABILITY Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use. Charles M. Schulz I can levitate birds. No one cares. Steven Wright Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. Laurence J. Peter A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Robert Heinlein It is always our inabilities that vex us. Joseph Joubert Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly. Warning label on Batman costume The girl who can't dance says the band can't play. Jewish proverb What one has to do, usually can be done. Eleanor Roosevelt Sometimes it is more important to discover what one cannot do, than what one can do. Lin Yutang ACCEPTANCE Welcome death, quoth the rat, when the trap fell. Thomas Fuller When a dog runs at you, whistle for him. Henry David Thoreau It is so much easier sometimes to sit down and be resigned than to rise up and be indignant. Ella Winter Inaction may be the highest form of action. Jerry Brown Lie down and listen to the crabgrass grow, the faucet leak, and learn to leave them so. Marya Mannes The important thing is to know how to take all things quietly. Michael Faraday Wonderful maxim: not to talk of things any more after they are done. Baron de Montesquieu It is so. It cannot be otherwise. Inscription on the ruins of a fifteenth-century cathedral in Amsterdam Let It Be. John Lennon and Paul McCartney ACCIDENT Nothing is accidental in the universe – this is one of my Laws of Physics – except the entire universe itself, which is Pure Accident, pure divinity. Joyce Carol Oates There are no accidents so unfortunate from which skilful men will not draw some advantage, nor so fortunate that foolish men will not turn them to their hurt. La Rochefoucauld The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. Peter Kay Accident is veiled necessity. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach ACHIEVEMENT Some of the best moments in life are not when you have achieved something but when the thought first comes to you to have a go. Lord Hunt Three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. Thomas Edison My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me. Winston Churchill ACTING Acting is a minor gift; after all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four. Katharine Hepburn There are five stages in the life of an actor 1) Who's Mary Astor? 2) Get me Mary Astor 3) Get me a Mary Astor type 4) Get me a young Mary Astor 5) Who's Mary Astor? Mary Astor Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people – with agents. Jean Kerr If there wasn't something called acting, they would probably hospitalize people like me. Whoopi Goldberg There's a fine line between the Method actor and the schizophrenic. Nicolas Cage The question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, don't we all anyway; might as well get paid for it. Elaine Dundy If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out. Robert Benchley Even her eyelashes acted. Virginia Woolf on Ellen Terry If you give audiences a chance they'll do half your acting for you. Katharine Hepburn We are all prete