YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE (Stuck in the Anthropocene with the Pleistocene Blues Again) shows us a planet that is simultaneously funny, fascinating, frightening, and full of plants, animals, and humans who think they have things figured out. Haven't we learned anything yet? Even the Neanderthals could have taught us that you only go extinct once. From essays like "We're All a Little Bananas Here" and "Beavers vs the Army Corps of Engineers," to "Calling All Neanderthals" and "Interview with an Inflatable Tube Man, " YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE not only shows us the natural world, but how hysterically far from the natural world humans have come. Nobody ever said the Anthropocene would be easy. It's not even easy for all scientists to agree that we're in the Anthropocene, a period of geologic time defined by human's impact on climate and ecosystems, and further evidence, perhaps, that we should all go back to the Pleistocene and start over. Sometimes, when you find yourself at an evolutionary dead-end, all you can do is laugh. In these fifty essays, environmental scientist Bob Lorentson blends humor with science, nature, and culture until the reader won't know whether to laugh, cry, or start building an ark. If you liked his first book, HOLD THE APOCALYPSE - PASS ME A SCIENTIST PLEASE , you're sure to enjoy YOU ONLY GO EXTINCT ONCE . Excerpts: From "Wouldn't You Like to Be a Prepper Too?": An apocalypse is no time to discover that time goes twice as slow in a bunker, and toilet paper twice as fast. From "A Modern Guide to Thinking": If you find yourself saying, What were they thinking? more than usual these days, perhaps it's time to take a closer look at an activity that some think back on as the foundation of humanity, while others think ahead and just see the ruins. From "The Opossum - America's National Shame": While other mammals were busy evolving into fascinating creatures like horses, foxes, and bison, opossums are a 65-million-year-old reminder of what happens when you don't even try. From "How to Resurrect Will Cuppy": The animals spoke to him in ways that people didn't, although in the city it took a fine ear to tell the difference. From "Animals on Drugs": Sometimes I have to wonder if the whole planet isn't made of locoweed. "Thanks for a great book! If it's a race between civilization and extinction, my heart's with civilization, but my money's on extinction." *Ashleigh Brilliant - Author of 12 books of humor, including, I Have Abandoned My Search for Truth, and Am Now Looking for a Good Fantasy. * "Good humor often tells the truth as well as good science. These short, witty essays entertain while being small reminders of moral lessons we'd do well to heed - at least before the aliens, robots, woolly mammoths, plastics, and the U.S. Congress take over." *Noah Gordon - PhD Frog Whisperer and Biology Professor * "Bob Lorentson uses wit and humor, blended with fact, to create this unique collection of essays about Homo sapiens' place among nature. Is there one still? One thing's for sure, this book will chase your blues away." - *Maureen Heidtmann, Master Wildlife Conservationist, wildlife rehabilitator, and author of Midnight Stroll. * "This book takes awareness to the next level thanks to Bob's unique writing style and sparkling humor. A thought-provoking read for fans of non-fiction humor." - *Reader's Favorite Book Reviews* "In this humorous collection of short essays, retired environmental scientist Lorentson turns a quizzical eye to nature's intersection with the human world, offering readers a slew of rousing stories that burst with wit." - BookLife "America's great humorist Mark Twain lived for 18 years in Hartford, Connecticut. Some 22 miles southeast of Hartford you'll find East Haddam, the town that is home to Lorentson, our local author in whom a century later Mark Twain's literary spirit lives on." - Mark Matthew Braunstein, author of six books, including Mindful Marijuana Smoking